After dinner we went the the Sexmuseum... why not? It was actually kinda weird... right when you walked through the door there was a mannequin man doing what was supposed to be a moan but sounded more like he was being stabbed with a trident through the heart. There were also strange chastity belts from the old ages, some black man with a 13 inch penis, and an exhibit on people who enjoy being peed on...? Just don't ask questions. Afterwards we visited the Red Light District which is exactly what you would imagine it to be... a lot of girls in red glass doors under red lights poking at the glass at men... wearing nothing but tiny little itty bikinis. I will say though, no homo, the girls (minus the fatties and trannies) are really attractive. Some of them have legit the nicest bodies I have ever seen... but, then again, it's their job to.
That night we returned the coffee shop in our hostel and had legit the best loaded nachos and brownies and ice cream I have ever eaten in my entire life... not a joke. It was heaven in my mouth. First impressions of Amsterdam in five words: weed, sex, friendly, bikes, canals.
On Friday morning we woke up early and went to the Anne Frank house, the house her and her family were hiding in when they were discovered by Dutch Nazi officials during the Holocaust. Having read the book it was a surreal experience to be able to stand in her room and see the details in person of what she described. I can't wait to see the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland in a few weeks.
Anne Frank's Bookshelf
Afterwards we did a three hour walking tour of Amsterdam which, I know, sounds typical Jessie and nerdy but it was super informative and definitely one of the highlights of the trip. Amsterdam is a fascinating city and I learned so much about it. For instance, there are more than 10,000 heroin addicts in Amsterdam alone. The city itself is a huge contradiction. There are churches right next to the red light districts and coffee shops. We visited a restaurant that was once a public autopsy house which stood next to a square where prisoners would have their chest ripped open, their ribs spread apart, their heart taken out of their chest and thrown in their face, and ultimately they would be decapitated after watching the entire process. They would then place the head on poles looking out towards the sea to intimidate all the visitors.
Another interesting fact: during the winter of 1945 there was an untimely climate change and during a huge hunger scare temperatures dropped. Houses and trees were taken down and burned for warmth and supplies were limited due to Nazi control. People resorted to eating tulips and cats. If you look closely, all of the trees in the city are about the same height because they were all replanted at the same time. In addition, the street that Rembrandt lived on was redesigned by a group of college students during the LSG era in Amsterdam so this one street is vibrantly colorful and does not fit in with the architecture around the rest of the city.
Another fun fact: if you do not have a cat in your restaurant or hostel it is not considered a good hostel. This is because Amsterdam was built on swampland and has a mice problem. Places with cats do not have this issue. Another fun fact: smoking weed in Amsterdam is actually completely ILLEGAL. Cops, however, have chosen to overlook any selling or smoking of weed in their attempt to crack down on harder drugs (no pun intended).
Typical Coffee Shop
Another fun fact: When Napoleon's brother was in power in Amsterdam he put put a census to see who he was ruling. People in The Netherlands had never had last names before so they thought it was a joke. To get back at the new ruler they made their last names (translated) things like little-poo, suck-a-lot, and born naked. Well, the names stuck and many residents of Amsterdam have last names that are absolutely absurd. ALSO, most of the houses in Amsterdam are slanted because they are built on swamps. Lastly, 20,000-25,000 bikes are taken out of the canals of Amsterdam each year because drunk people pull pranks on their friends or enemies and throw them in the canals during the night.
And lastly, fake boobies are GROSS. I had never seen them before... they look like aliens.
The last day was JAM PACKED ALSO! We went to the Nemo Science Museum in the morning which was interactive and really cool. However, in true Amsterdam style, there was a sex floor and puberty exhibit that showed kids how to french kiss and how to pop their pimples... oh, and who can forget the ejaculation video with the cartoon chick bouncing her boobs up and down. Like really, Amsterdam? This continues to baffle me.
We continued the day with a wonderful lunch and beer sampler in a windmill and then a tour to the Heineken Brewery. Some pictures below...
Heineken Brewery
Other weird things about Amsterdam: there is food in the vending machines, the world's first condom shop, etc. After a Thai dinner we met some Brits and shortly after Charlie got a drink thrown at his face by a fat hispanic prostitute who came out of her window. True Story. Lastly, when leaving the airport we saw this message scrolling on a screen: "Stupid people shouldn't breed. Survival of the fittest. Animals and men included". Typical Amsterdam departure message.
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